Now Playing - Sooner or Later (Soren's Song) - Switchfoot

Blue skies smilin' at me
Nothin' but blue skies do I see
Bluebirds singin' a song
Nothin' but bluebirds all day long

Never saw the sun shinin' so bright
Never saw things goin' so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you're in love, my how they fly

Blue days, all of them gone
Nothin' but blue skies from now on
Nothin' but blue skies from now on

bing crosby

Something, just a lil something that forces me to eat my words back again, after I promised myself not to give up opportunities knocking on the door. Almost 2 years after I promised myself that, I've so far went back eating my words, in 2 separate incidents. Aloo might sympathise.

Once when opportunity came knock-a-knocking on my door. I told myself I'll pass.
Second when opportunity came knock-a-knocking on my door, more insistently. I freaked out and pretended I wasnt around and walked away.
Third when opportunity came knock-a-knocking on my door, and when I finally willed myself to answer, it was gone.

I cant believe it. I blew all 3 chances.



The question wasnt whether I would crack or not. The question was when i would crack. My emotions have been running too close to the surface lately, and finally, I cracked today. Although it was like only for 5 seconds before I quickly suppressed it, it is a fact that the monster has reared its ugly head.

I hate my school timetable.

Animosity for the Iscariot in me.



School, now is like placing a lid over a boiling pot of water, then sealing it with tape. Sealed in pressure that threatens to burst out any moment, I feel like Im threading a thin line between rising tensions and rising pressures.

So much so that the atmosphere is suffocating, lessons lacklustre, that I feel like running away, seeking an escape. There doesnt seem to be a viable escape route however, which thus means that I have to stick it out. It would be obvious that I would not be the first to crack, but what would I do about the people that crack before me? I am helpless.

Do we deserve what has been inflicted upon us?



Our Father in Heaven,

thank you for the food that I have before me today. Thank you for giving me this beautiful day. Thank you for making it smooth and without problems. I pray in your name that the rest of the day would be as good, and I pray that everyone would be as blessed as I am, without troubles. I pray all these in your son's precious name.

Amen.



And once again, I came to school with 7 periods free, attending only GP, Lit1 and Lit2 and chinese is not counted because we dont do anything anyway. However, its not as though as we're left alone and quite an amount of homework has been left for us, with history being the highest stack(which im gonna ignore at my own peril) and some sort of econs work(which everyone ignored anyway). Teachers have started stating(gleefully) that once we've finished with the syllabus, we're gonna start doing essays, essays and more essays! They always say they torture themselves because we only have to do one essay each, while they have to mark like 30 of them. However, this is not true because looking at the quality of the work we hand in, I dont think they even have to mark the essays.

Counselling Session with Mrs Heng. Your one stop solution to all personal problems faced in life and then some.

Since only 3 students turned up for Mother Tongue, we got a sort of talking/counselling session today with her. Sim Ailing aka elly took 15mins(problem kid), Tan Seng Kiat aka kiatee took 10mins(problem kid, but lesser problems), Terrance Ng took only 5mins(eh? why do i get so little time? I HAVE problems too right...). There is of course, a depreciating frequency curve for all teachers, measuring the amount of concern they extend to their charges(us), top of the frequency curve being the ones they care most about, and bottom of the frequency curve which people like me are placed there.

I have this irritating flu bag that just refuses to go away, even with the flu medicine I took. Hopefully its not the new strain which is more resistant and supposedly going around. Dinner with Sk and elly at Long John Silver, and our initial discussion centered around the presidential elections. The presidential elections are held to nominated the next president for the student council, and dont ask me why it sounds so important. I never got the gist of such a classy sounding name for a job that just centers around taking care of the council and making sure they do nothing stupid.

Anyway, elly was asking when Fizah(current SC prez) was gonna step down, and Sk stated it was around in April, when the Council Investiture would take place. There would be a handing over ceremony, which sounds cool but actually is not, for the one I attended seemed more like a mourning for 9/11 with the candles and all. Fizah's gonna hand over presidency to Iskander, Johnathan's gonna hand over to Saddad, and so on and so forth. All of sudden though, Sk suddenly proclaimed,

"I dont have to hand over to anyone, because I am the first and last project director, and there wont be another."
(slacking job, I dont see alot of "projects", unless you count orientation, where the planning is divided anyway. There is also the possible implications of a position created specially for him, sort of like the Minister Mentor, but for today, we're not going to discuss that.)
Elly and I waited patiently for him to get to his point.


"Therefore I am the last Manchurian........candidate." He finished lamely.


Cue in a minute of stunned silence, with a bit of brain freeze, plus crow cawing.

................................................................................................................................................................-_-"

WTF ZOMGROFL.

For those that dont know, Sk is not a descendant of the Han Chinese, which majority of us are, but a descendant of the Manchurians, the "barbaric" neighbours residing north of China. I expected him to say he was the last manchurian emperor or something, and definitely not candidate! We can see lameness oozing out of every pore of Sk, and I conclude it must be the pressure and stress he's being put under by certain things(or people!).

To the end of a fairly long day, I have the champion's league to look foward to. Thus this makes it all the more bearable.

-

Imagine a situation where there are 2 guys, one amazingly tanned to the extent where people sometimes mistake him for a malay, the other who thinks he's fat and leads a sad life, where actually in both instances its not true at all. Anyway,

Tanned guy(whining) "nobody loves me. Im gonna commit suicide" Wields the penknife dangerously.
guy who thinks he's fat but actually he's not "*stunned silence*"
Tanned guy "okay wait. Change of plans. Im gonna kill you first and then take my own life."
guy who thinks he's fat but actually he's not "wtf?"

Cutscene out of the movie, "Welcome to my life."

Starring world recognized actor Dominic Yeo as the tanned guy, and promising newcomer Mark Wong as the guy who thinks he's fat but actually he's not. Critically acclaimed director Ow Shi Hong who is well known for his award winning film "What is the meaning of life and religion?" directs this film, showing Singaporeans another perspective of the society of the youths, an intricate hierachy system that is in place but not easily seen. A emotionally raw and powerful film, bound to change the way viewers see our youths again. Rated NC-16. Foul Language and some sexual references.



Telltale signs that you like that girl.

You want her number.
Studying her from a distance.
She's damn pretty to you.
You hate all other girls that are prettier than her.
Contemplating whether to buy a valentine's day gift for her.
You actually buy a valentine's day gift for her.
Insisting giving it in the name of being "friends".
Getting your friends to deliver the gift, then asking them how did she react.
Continue to ask them, even if they had told you everything there is to tell.
While listening to your ipod, You suddenly proclaim, "Eh I like her!" to nobody in particular, giving your friends who were doing lit essay and eating mamee noodles at that time a raised eyebrows kinda feeling.
Wondering if you should sms her.
Get depressed because she left school with another guy.
Get depressed because she is depressed(or her attitude towards you), and now she has a sort of big influence on your mood.
Stay out of an area of 10feet radius around her. No wait, staying out of her line of sight, meaning that the freedom of movement you used to have in school is now gone because of her presence.
After 2years of wooing, you still dont give up.
Choosing to believe her lies over the truth of your friends.
Drop everything you have at hand when she asks if she could meet you(including bastarding your friends).
You start thinking about her. Several times a day.



Actions that I have condemned now return to plague me. I wont buy excuses like "I have to go see the doctor" nor should it have been given in the first place. Even worse is just wanting to slack off, running away.

To tell the truth, I am so much of a coward. I want to do the same thing as well. To run away. To slack off. But that would mean eating back my own words, getting jacked, in Seng Kiat's lingo. If I have stated my beliefs, then I should stick to them to the best of my ability.

-

Diesel. Noun.
Type of gasoline designed to power a diesel engine.

Gasoline. Noun.
A violatile mixture of flammable liquid hydrocarbons derived chiefly from crude petroleum and used principally as a fuel for internal-combustion engines.

"They were drinking diesel." Use your common sense. You would die if you drank gasoline. It is POISONOUS. You cant even use it as a drug to get high. Your non acceptance of the fact that it was alcohol in the petrol containers frustrate me. Go, hurry. Get the autobiography. Then maybe, you will accept the truth. Or maybe, why not get the doctor's opinion on whether diesel is consummable?

-

I didnt ask for your opinion. Dont assume that you know what Im talking about, offer your own views, or jump to conclusions. If i stay out of your affairs, you should refrain from commenting on mine. Most importantly of all, never once did I seek help. You are impatient to see action, I merely stated, "you can go ahead and do it then." But keep in mind that I never came and asked for help. And please shut the fuck up.



A cruel twist of fate. Why? This is my life, leave it alone.

Take a trip down the memory lane, undo the mistakes you did again.



A day out, a day of ice cream, a day of a rare movie, a day of meeting old friends.

I think the Ben & Jerry's franchise outlet is a little too colorful for my liking, although the ice cream tasted great. There were flavours I've seen before, and flavours I've not seen before, and flavours that I didnt know existed. An example would be Phish food, apparently not the best tasting chocolate ice cream around according to dominic. I had their Mix 'n Match for lunch which consisted of 3 scoops of ice cream of your choice on waffle, and I am honestly looking forward to next week's Arab food outing already due to the supply of hot filling food or lack thereof in my life.

And after a couple of weeks of abstinence, I've went and caught a movie again, Jarhead. It started fairly promising enough, until everything started to get boring and there were just too much fucks and stupid things going onscreen. I dont know how to describe it honestly, but if you want to watch a movie, i suggest you pass on this one.

-

Why when you meet friends who have left your life, you get happy at meeting an old friend in the beginning, but then the awkwardness starts to set in very quickly? Only limited questions can be asked, "How is so and so?", "How's life?" and most of the time there might be gaps of silence where both parties are trying to think of what to say just to make some "noise". Eventually, the questions will dry up and we would make empty promises to meet again and go on our separate ways.

-

Suggested techniques for the marine to use in the avoidance of boredom and loneliness.

Masturbation.
Re-reading of letters from unfaithful wives and girlfriends.
Cleaning your rifle.
Further masturbation.
Re-wiring Walkman.
Arguing about religion and meaning of life.
Discussing in detail, every woman the marine has ever fucked.
Debating differences, such as Cuban VS Mexican, Harlys VS Hondas, left VS right-handed masturbation.
Further cleaning of rifle.
Studying the mail-order bride catalogue.
Further masturbation.
Planning a marine's first meal on return home.
Imagining what a marine's girlfriend and her man Jody are doing in the ally or in a hotel bed.
More masturbation.

This was in the movie, and the one of the relatively many funny jokes/moments.

-

Hey excuse me, but can I have your number? *grins*



The art of playing scissors, paper and stone has only been appreciated by a few. The game is fairly simple, extremely well known. Scissors wins paper, paper wins stone, and stone wins scissors. The game has been used to a variety of ways; to simply pass time, settle conflicts(if i win you do what i say), establish psychological supremacy, deciding who would start the soccer match, etc. What you guys may want to know, is that I have been using this game to make people move over to my place if we have to do group work.

Normally, we are just to lazy to move over to the other side even though its only a few feet away. Therefore, the simple game of scissors paper and stone will settle the issue of who would move to the victor's side. I am glad to say, I've been winning where it matters. One question still lingers, who the hell invented this game?

-

I've been having weird dreams these few days. Extremely illogical, unrelated images, things that I've no idea existed. Everytime i wake up, I get this feeling I dreamt about something I cant remember. The moment I try to recall, the images flow to the back of my head, just out of reach, like the water flowing out of your hand. If I could have some semblance of idea of what I have dreamt of, it would make things far, far easier.

-

"The WTO is a failure." - Dominic Yeo







Am shaken, not mildly, not severely, but yet, just enough to make me feel frightened again. Why are there such people in this world? Do they really think their way of doing things is right?

Whatever happened to freedom of choice? Being able to choose want you want to do is not a privilege, its a right.

We all need to slow down and think. Drop our insistence. Why hit out? The world after all, does not adhere to you, while sadly, all of us, have to adhere to the world.



Fury continues spreading through the islamic world...

The cartoons about Prophet Mohammed, published in Denmark last year, republished again later in Norway, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Holland and New Zealand later caused a wave of fury throughout the muslim world.

The countries, newspapers, have used the ideal, "Freedom of Speech" to defend what they did, obstinately sticking to their stand that what they did was right. Governments have refused to apologize, pointing to the newspapers as a separate entity, outside government control, and therefore it was not possible for a separate party to apologize on their behalf. This I should ask, does not prevent you from taking a stand against what the newspapers did correct? The fact that some governments showed their reluctance to condemn these actions and even supporting them showed what in fact, they really thought about these cartoons.

What shocked me was that the fact that these people do not see the fact that what they have done was wrong. Isnt this in a sense defamation against the Muslims? George Bush has even sided with the Danish, saying that America will give its "support and solidarity" over the violence sparked by caricatures of the Prophet.

At least the editor that first published these "cartoons" had apologized for his actions, stating that he would not have published the caricatures if he had known about the consequences. It is a little incongruous that the other newspapers and even governments insist on using Freedom of Speech to defend what they have done, consequences be damned, as the freedom gives them the right to say what they want, what they did with the cartoons was justifiable, because they already have the right to do it.

Some people just do not get it, saying that they've been publishing cartoons about their own religions, depicting Christ, and also of some royalty, like the Queen of England, and without causing any outrage. The fact that if you do not take your own religion seriously and treat it with respect, why assume other people will do the same thing with you as well? There are others in this world, who respect, love their religions and sometimes, even value it above their lives.

There is must be a balance between the overall benefit and the overall harm of free speech to society. As the famed United States jurist Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr wrote: "The most stringent protection of free speech would not protect a man falsely shouting fire in a theatre and causing a panic."

Freedome of Speech is a privilege given onto you by the governments, so much so that you all have come to see it as a right. It is NOT an excuse, for some of your pathetic actions. To bring it onto a personal level, what if I had depicting your mom as a whore, fucking every man that came along till she got you as her illegitamate kid? Surely you shouldn't get angry, because I am only exercising my right of freedom of speech.

-

If all stories were true, they wouldnt be called stories.



I am, disappointed in you, disappointed in myself, for I have failed to teach you properly.

I still remember the first day you came, how good you were with most percussion instruments, and being a year my junior, I saw hope, for then the section would be a damn good section come the next SYF. Not my direct junior, I saw you mature into an excellent player, surpassing many people, including me. Remaining among your secondary school friends, maybe because we were the ones that moulded you, kept your innate character in check.

Now you're already 18. The section leader of your section. What kind of your attitude do you have towards your juniors? Not allowing them to play for the chinese new year concert, wanting to find reasons to sack them, and above all, not even giving them a chance. Being talented does not give you the right to do this. Talent breeds arrogance, and arrogance eventually breeds contempt. I find no way in trying to turn you back, but only hope that you will be humbled one day.

Perhaps, one day, you might realise...that you're not so good after all.

-

'O' level results are gonna be released this friday. I am looking forward, to the peace and quiet, that I can enjoy for a short time before the jae batch comes in.

still am, out of sync.







And since Im feeling bored, I shall tell you all a story.

In the not so distant past, not so distant future, but in fact, happening right now, are the existence of 3 big factions. The Neutral Forces, the Allied Forces and finally, our all time favourite, The Soviet Union and Co.

Neutral Forces are friends with everybody, some are more inclined towards the Soviets, while others are more towards the Allies. While things have not degenerated to the state of all out war, sanctions have already taken place, and all communications between both sides are cut. Making snipe shots at each other through each sides' media, all these points serve to point at the existence of a Cold War.

The Allies think they're right, and the Soviets, on the other hand, thing they're right as well. They think they deserve an explanation for the unexplained and abrupt sanctions, and while the Allies think the Soviets are simply too stupid to understand. Therefore, the Soviets are developing their chemical warfare hoping so as to smoke out the Allies and have the world for themselves. The Allies, in the meantime, are going around discussing how to attack the soviets with their newly developed Verbatim Missiles, in addition to their missiles which are street smart, and laughing among themselves quietly.

It is a fact however, that the Allies outnumber the Soviets with their army at close to 2:1 ratio. The Soviets however, have their chemical weapons, and maybe some other stuff too bad to even think about. The cold war looks set to stay, and whether it will erupt into a full-scale war, remains to be seen.

This is dedicated to whichever friend of mine, you know who you are *pats*. =p

-

The India-Pakistan conflict over Kashmir.
The North-South Korea tension.
The China-Taiwan relations.

3 potential hot spots for war, all in Asia.

Iran you ask? No, not yet.

All of the above, stated by the great one, Bobby Lye.

-

lol.

lenice.tay

addi.chee

agnes.lin

andrew.tau

aj

amanda.loo

amanda.tan

amanda.faith

amy

auntine.jas

alicia.ng

avril.phua

bert.lee

bryan.sim

chitra

ct

deon.toh

dominic.julian

ghim.kui

goh.huishan

elly.sim

hanis

huini.gao

huiee.low

ignatius.aaron

jade.chen

james.leong

jean.tan

jincheng

justina.lee

khairuz

layne

loke.kokhoe

lynette.choong

liangshi.tee

mark.wong

neil.sikorsky

ong.junhong

phoebe.wong

raudhah

sajc.band

seng.kiat

selina

shan.shan

shimin.chong

xiuli

yiling.du

yingwen

ziyan

Memoirs of a geisha
Fearless
Jarhead
Underworld Evolution
Munich
Ice Age: The meltdown
The art of seduction
Mission Impossible: III
X-III: The Last Stand
The Omen
Silent Hill*
Superman Returns
Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's chest
The Lakehouse*
Singapore Dreaming
The Banquet
Miami Vice
John Tucker Must Die
Stay Alive
Rob-B-Hood
The Departed
The Prestige
Death Note
The Guardian
The Covenant
Step Up
Casino Royale
A Battle Of Wits
Happy Feet
Open Season
Eragon
The Holiday
Death Note: The Last Name
Curse of the Golden Flower


Maybe I didn't treat you quite as good
as I should have,
Maybe I didn't love you quite as often
as I could have,
Little things I should have said and done,
I just never took the time.
You are always on my mind,
You are always on my mind.
Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times,
And I guess I never told you,
I'm so happy that you're mine,
If I made you feel second best,
girl I'm so sorry, I was blind.
You are always on my mind,
You are always on my mind,
Tell me,
tell me that your sweet love hasn't died,
Give me,
give me one more chance to keep you satisfied, Little things I should have said and done,
I just never took the time.
You are always on my mind,
You are always on my mind


November 2003
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