Now Playing - Sooner or Later (Soren's Song) - Switchfoot

Blue skies smilin' at me
Nothin' but blue skies do I see
Bluebirds singin' a song
Nothin' but bluebirds all day long

Never saw the sun shinin' so bright
Never saw things goin' so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you're in love, my how they fly

Blue days, all of them gone
Nothin' but blue skies from now on
Nothin' but blue skies from now on

bing crosby

Currently listening to: I Melt - Rascal Flatts

Its been 17 days since the last time we've went out on a date. I wonder when the next one will come...



Currently listening to: Drifting - Sarah McLachlan

I've been trying really hard, but yet I still feel uneasy.



Currently listening to: Could it be - Staind

=(





it's jus a sad day today!!
school is bored..and scary!!
i hate going to sch now..
i'm really really tired of everything..
i guess i'll jus break down anytime..
no one seems to understand me at all now..NO ONE!!
i really feel like i'm another girl in jus another planet...
save me and bring me back here!!!

CRIES!!

-

Everyday I take a look at the above, and remind myself, to be my old self, and to treat her better.

I think...it was a relatively relaxed day today. However, Im extremely tired. Im thankful that there'll soon be time for me to rest, and to catch up on my studies.

-

GP in 2 days.



Currently listening to: Fray - Staind


Amazingly, that pretty much describes in a nut shell how Im coping with my problems right now.

-

After a bath, Im feeling pretty refreshed! Probably up to deal with my GP stuff, and thats probably gonna be on my mind now since the paper's only 3 days later. Then after that, its back to tackling the other subjects, especially Econs which is a bitch to handle.

You know, the school's not giving us a graduation dinner/prom night! All we poor millennians get is just a high tea at this place in Fort Canning. And all that for 14bucks, and while this signifies(sort of) our graduation from the school, they arent giving us our study break either! The panic's settling upon me already, because I just realised I wouldnt be able to study as much as I could if there's going to be school...

And I've gotta write in my cca testimonial, which I've got nothing to show for. Its going to be so embarrassing if I hand in a blank card.

-



Currently listening to: The Immaculate - Masashi Hamauzu

Woke up around 7, starting thinking about myself a little, felt sad for awhile, shedded some tears, and went back to sleep.

Woke up again, felt relatively happier, as if 3hours of sleep could wash away so much unhappines. Regardless, I've got to try my best to change back again.

I will not give up my promises so easily.

-

2 weeks to the prelims, about 4 weeks to promos. For my batch mates, rest assured you'll wake up after the horror of the prelims. For my juniors, please start studying hard if you want to see the new campus.

-





25th? Whats 25th? It has been stripped of all significance.

I've been holding on to this date for far too long and way too much. Perhaps I should have forced my way 2 weeks back. Maybe now, then the date would mean something.



Currently Listening to: Redemption - Switchfoot

I was browsing through my cd games when I found sim city 4, which came out fairly recently(2 years back, at max). It then got me wondering, why after so long, there's still no news of a sim city 5 yet? I went online and did a search, found some rumours about SimCity 5 which may or may not be true =\ and then I found something interesting!

An extract:

From the mind of Will Wright, the creator of The Sims, comes SPORE™, an epic journey that takes you from the origin and evolution of life through the development of civilization and technology and eventually all the way into the deepest reaches of outer space.

Read more at www.spore.com

Im gonna get this game when its out!

And I'm still waiting for Starcraft 2. Its been 5 years you bitches at Blizzard. Quit spending so much time on World of Warcraft dammit! =P

-

Been planning somewhat of a spending outlay recently, trying to decide on what to buy for myself for my 19th birthday. It really isnt coming along fine, since there's just so many attractive things to buy.

-

Daily Horoscope:
If you want more peace and less drama in your life, pay more attention to your health.

I am doing that. It doesnt increase the peace in my life though. Maybe I should up the attention.
-

And so she hides the disappointment welling up in her, choosing only to present a happy, if not, nonchalant face to the world. Even simple expectations, she realised, might have to be thrown away if she is to halt the flow of tears within her.

-
Addon:

Im free tomorrow, anyone wants to go out for a drink or something? Probably at Harry's Bar in esplanade or somewhere else. Anything goes for me.



I received 2 phone calls after school today, but was mildly disappointed to see who the caller was. I wonder at that, for I wasnt expecting anyone to call me anyway.

-

I finally bitched to my home tutor about school being overbearing, people skipping school, lessons, and everything else. She listened, nodded her head, and at the end of the whole thing, told me to put in more effort for econs.

What the hell?

-

I think whatever it is, I shall just let it go, try not to make myself troubled or sad over it, and above all, expect too much. Its best if I can let go off all my expectations.

If you dont expect anything, disappointment cannot manifest itself.

-

I need someone to cry out my sorrows to.



Currently listening to: If You're Not The One - Myleene Klass

What am I most afraid of? Deep down within, I already know the answer.




Currently listening to: A Change of Seasons - Dream Theater

Yesterday, after the soccer match, I saw this girl with a dog which was the same breed as Milo from the mask. She was tossing a frisbee and the dog was chasing it manically, and trying(with no success) to pick it up and return it to her. Its enthusiasm and apparent happiness kind of cheered me up, and that made my day better.

I was tossing and turning in my bed last night, and that image probably helped me to eventually fall asleep.

-

Today, both lit teachers, in response to my answer to their question as why I did a slip shod work, tried to make me slightly happier.

"Some things are only temporary."
"Terrance you must try to smile more and get out of it soon."

Yes I know. I am trying to get out of it. But somehow it seems to me like Im forcing myself to be cold, heartless, detaching myself from my emotions so as to focus on whats important at this point in time: The A levels. Am I trying to do it? Yes. Can I do it and is it right to do it? I dont know.

Thus arises the term - Monochrome Emotions.



Currently listening to: If God Made You - Five For Fighting

And so he goes running running, running running, away from everything, running to leave the unhappines behind.

All the best, my friend, for I am in the same situation as you.

Sometimes, just sometimes, we all need to lighten up.

-

You know, after blog hopping around, I've got this question. Why do people use such cheem words that you sometimes gotta go to the dictionary to check up on the meanings just because your sad(sobs!) vocabulary is just not at the same level as them? I mean, its not like after using those words, it elevates your piece to a whole new level.. because it doesnt make for smooth reading(ie. Thomas Hardy's style of writing. He likes to make things difficult). What you want to see is Hamizah's writing in particular. It is by far, the best, unpretentious style of writing I've seen so far.

Personally, I find that simple english makes things sweet, and straight to the point. You dont have to go round the bush, or the hedge, or the thicket, or the shrub, or whatever it is that you want to go around. After all, Im writing to make a point, not to sell a novel. It makes for easier reading too! But this is just my humble opinion.

In case if anyone gets offended... For christ's sake, Im not targetting at anyone in particular, so to anyone who feels that way, dont be ok? But if you are, maybe it means you do realise it deep within yourself that you're a pretentious writer. *winks*

Haha...just joking.



Currently listening to: The Remedy - Jason Mraz

Since the school had us put down targets for our prelims, I figured I might as well put them here and probably see myself fail to attain these targets. Hopefully it'll spur me on to achieve better for the As.

• Literature - E
• History - E
• Economics - E
• GP - B4

Pretty down to earth targets, although it will take alot of effort to actually achieve such grades.

-

"Im sorry, but the w900i is already not in the market" Whaaaat? The remaining few stores that I found that still has the model in stock is selling them for over $900(inc. of gst). This is crazy...

-

Headache.

Currently listening to: Bleeding Me - Metallica

Today might have been the worst day so far of the year. 2 words are enough to sum this day up: Screwed Up. I thought I lost my handphone for the better part of the morning and spent like the first period retracing my steps in school hoping to find it. I mean, after all its just a t630 and nobody would want to steal it right? I shall skip all my worrying and frantic calls to my mom, my own hp, before finally finding it in my bag.

The rest of the day was spent worrying that first, my lit teacher would send me out because I didnt complete the required 5 essays. Luckily being the nice person(usually) she was, we were spared from that. However even if she was to make good on the promise she made, she wouldnt have anyone left to teach as the whole class would have been sent off.

After lit lesson and going back to class I realised there was this thing about "Mrs Sukir taking drastic action if you didnt complete your DRQ she gave as homework" and I was confused for a moment, wondering when she gave the homework before SK said she gave it either at the beginning when everyone was just coming in, or at the end when everyone was leaving. This time, I DID get sent out of the class(or auditorium, seeing as the lecture was held there), and to complete my DRQ before returning.

Oh did I say before we left for econs, Joy Tan passed by our class and asked for her homework, and stated, "I would be very pissed if I didnt get it.." So somehow, I guess we were expected to squeeze some time to do her IR homework, which noone managed to start on anyway. Later during her lesson, she found out that only 3 people in the whole class brought the IR notes, and so she couldnt teach, and when she realised we only had FR notes, we tried to do the A level questions on that, and rounded off the whole fiasco at the end of the lesson by her saying, "Can I say class, I dont want a repeat of this again." Mumbles of yes throughout the class were heard, though I personally think it MIGHT happen again.

-

Joke of the day.

"I saw Bertram walking home in the bus."
Mark, commenting on what he apparently saw while we were on our way to TTC yesterday for lit lecture.



Currently listening to: Ban Dao Tie He - Jay Chou

Had an okaay wednesday today. It started off with me being woken up my a sms from Ailing stating

"Hey dude! I am so DAMN tired and feeling a lil sick now so I am not going to school wokay? Make my excuses and tell wee im sorry for not making it for the prison home trip ya? Enjoy yourself in school! oOoOOo."

Okay. Just joking. She didnt type that; I just wanted to make her sound...hyper. Haha.

I missed bus again today morning, which made it the third time of the week. Yes you calculated that right. It means I've been missing the bus everyday since monday and still managed to get to school on time.

Had to tell wee slightly regretfully that Im not going to go for the prison home trip because I had to go to Toh Tuck for lit lectures(which sucked, and I'll come to that) and she wasnt really happy. Oh I hate making excuses and breaking promises.

-

Went to Toh Tuck for my lit lectures, and we had 2 in a row by 2 different teachers. The 2nd teacher was in charge of lecturing for She Stoops to Conquer, and about halfway through the lecture, Dom said,

"Is she seriously a literature teacher?"

That cracked me up, for what she was teaching was basically what we all knew, and I guess it could probably be gleaned from the introduction of the book, but then again knowing you lazy lit students, you probably havent read the introduction.

After the lecture(which was close to 5), I went down expecting that Lenice had finished training but unexpectedly, she was playing a match with her vball team. After watching awhile, and when it became apparent I wasnt going to get a chance to talk to her, I decided to leave and went to look for the stuff I needed to get from takashimaya.

Finally got a chance to eat at Food Republic, and I realised its sort of like an air conditioned Glutton Bay, and the oldies playing drove me crazy because it was so irritating.

-

I bumped into Phoebe while getting off at Paya Lebar mrt station, and since she just ended her bowling, it was the first time I saw her in her bowling attire.

The skirt was of an indecent length. I finally got what ailing was saying. I mean, can you even call it a skirt?

-

I have this splitting headache, and I know why. The school collapsed the timetable(for the unintiated, it means ending as early as possible, before 3pm generally) for us to have more time to study, do more work. After the collapse of the timetable, various teachers took the extra slots as unofficial lessons so whats the end result? Us ending no earlier than before the timetable was collapsed, and I feel more tired with this new arrangement.

I mean, lessons till like, 4:30pm? Lectures at toh tuck? Considering that Bartley doesnt have half decent food by lunch time, students tend to skip lunch and when you end school, we're so hungry we'll go someone to eat a late lunch/early dinner before going home. Dont you teachers dare to tell me that Im supposed to feel more energized. After that dinner, which probably takes about a hour and half which includes travelling time and eating, I get home in the evening and THEN im expected to do all the essays that we're dumped with. All these and there seems to be this expectation that we are clockwork machines, ready to work again after winding ourselves up.

Let me tell you. We are humans. We cannot function continously like that if we're not given enough rest time. Getting home at 6(Which is an EXTREMELY positive estimate) bathing and resting and expecting us to start on our homework again and then sleeping around 11-12 and waking up at 6 and going through the same routine will tire anyone out. This is worse than a 9-5 job since we actually have homework to complete(the essays! argh). And you want to add lessons on saturdays, nag at us for not being motivated enough when we don't turn up, and what else do you want? Its not that dont want to wake up our ideas, its just that we're too tired to wake up.

Get an idea of whats going on, and not just a vague one.

-







Currently listening to: Where - Nickelback

After one week of hiatus, Im finally back to school. Considering that last tuesday was national day celebrations in school, wednesday was the actual national day while thursday was a school holiday, I only missed 2 days of school. Perhaps thats enough to make me feel like I've missed out on many, many things in school.

So close to the As, and I feel Im starting to really really lag. It makes me feel like Im not going to make it, and fail everything badly. Argh. I need to relearn the meaning of discipline all over again..If not, I would be stuck at the crossroads again with nowhere that I really want to go, unless of course, you want to count poly.

I've been feeling so tired lately, so much so to the extent that I skipped history extra lessons today and carrying a lil guilt with me on the way home. But the temptation of taking an afternoon nap and trying to get rid of my weariness overrides everything else.

-

Charity Shield

Liverpool 2 - 1 Chelsea

The EPL champions of the season 05/06 showed the rest of the world that they can be beaten, even if they spend millions to have a world class team.

You'll never walk alone.

-

I must get the studying mentality into my head already... when will the time come when I get to relax and do something that I honestly enjoy? I hope it'll be soon. Honestly.



Currently listening to: Eanie Meany - Jim Noir

Yesterday was one of the better days I've had in the past 2 weeks.

Match with GFC against the sajcband j1s, which was kind of more physical on a field which barely had enough width and length to accomodate 22players, and then having my girl's company for the chalet, and for the evening at night we just generally spent time together, talking, walking, and just appreciating the each other's presence.

Amazingly, we managed to catch the last bus from changi village back to sengkang at about 12am. Almost at lenice's home, we saw this bunch of people, presumably from some sec school in sengkang, and they've just finished their concert. Being the young naive young teenagers they were, they tried to hide from their teacher in charge as they didnt want to go home. They were bickering about where to hide(on the double decker bus) and after I sent lenice home, I saw another group who were arguing whether the teacher would call their homes to check if they were home.

I never experienced such things when I was in sec school after my band concerts. Probably because our teacher in charge trusted us enough not to create trouble late at night.

-

Anyone want to go take driving theory test with me? Lets go sign up together!

-

Someone buy this season's new adidas sponsored liverpool jersey for me please? Haha...



Take a step back, calm down, relax.

Reorder priorites, try not to overreact and let the thoughts run wild.

Stability is the key.

...

Right. Im going crazy already. Its a downhill spiral. Im going to crash.

Cant wait for tomorrow to come, cant wait for friday to end, cant wait for saturday to arrive. Perhaps by then I'll have left my worries behind.

-

My mind's cracking.



Finally, its all over.

The preparations, effort has paid off, the concert is over, and now we're going back to our separate lives. I had a great time, enjoying myself, especially at the backstage of esplanade while we talked, laughed, cracked lame jokes, shouted, took photos, cheered and in general, just enjoyed each other's company. An unforgetable time with unforgetable people.

Ganesh, Wayne, Rao, Ashwin, Marcus, Pei Yan, Jade, Amanda. Its been fun working with you all. Percussion section ftw! =)

Lol and finally after 3 years, KC returned me my 50bucks. I guess he couldnt take it when i kept harrassing him backstage.

-

Lit Paper 2 prelims in 4 days. Have you tried studying for it yet?

-

3 schools, one flag. Once a saint, always a saint.



The way I feel, I dont even understand it myself. How can anyone else possibly do?

-

Would like to trade in my current heart for a happier one. Hopefully I wont I wont feel down all the time now.

If in the first place, the trading of hearts can be done.

-

Hate it.

Dissapointed. Extremely.

lenice.tay

addi.chee

agnes.lin

andrew.tau

aj

amanda.loo

amanda.tan

amanda.faith

amy

auntine.jas

alicia.ng

avril.phua

bert.lee

bryan.sim

chitra

ct

deon.toh

dominic.julian

ghim.kui

goh.huishan

elly.sim

hanis

huini.gao

huiee.low

ignatius.aaron

jade.chen

james.leong

jean.tan

jincheng

justina.lee

khairuz

layne

loke.kokhoe

lynette.choong

liangshi.tee

mark.wong

neil.sikorsky

ong.junhong

phoebe.wong

raudhah

sajc.band

seng.kiat

selina

shan.shan

shimin.chong

xiuli

yiling.du

yingwen

ziyan

Memoirs of a geisha
Fearless
Jarhead
Underworld Evolution
Munich
Ice Age: The meltdown
The art of seduction
Mission Impossible: III
X-III: The Last Stand
The Omen
Silent Hill*
Superman Returns
Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's chest
The Lakehouse*
Singapore Dreaming
The Banquet
Miami Vice
John Tucker Must Die
Stay Alive
Rob-B-Hood
The Departed
The Prestige
Death Note
The Guardian
The Covenant
Step Up
Casino Royale
A Battle Of Wits
Happy Feet
Open Season
Eragon
The Holiday
Death Note: The Last Name
Curse of the Golden Flower


Maybe I didn't treat you quite as good
as I should have,
Maybe I didn't love you quite as often
as I could have,
Little things I should have said and done,
I just never took the time.
You are always on my mind,
You are always on my mind.
Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times,
And I guess I never told you,
I'm so happy that you're mine,
If I made you feel second best,
girl I'm so sorry, I was blind.
You are always on my mind,
You are always on my mind,
Tell me,
tell me that your sweet love hasn't died,
Give me,
give me one more chance to keep you satisfied, Little things I should have said and done,
I just never took the time.
You are always on my mind,
You are always on my mind


November 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007

layout: ambivalente