Sunday, June 18, 2006 [ 1:08 PM ] ;
0 repliesLike everyone else, I have fears. I shall briefly talk about my biggest fear right now before going on to other more mundane things that happened.
There's this fear I have, this fear that I cannot hold us together. The bond that once was there, so easily maintained, and even though I think it would be too harsh to say it ceased to exist, its no longer as strong as before. I gave up after trying to hold the bond; Im not sure if I put in enough effort, but Im already tired from doing this much. Maybe circumstances forced this change upon us, maybe our fixation on our own affairs caused it, maybe other individual actions created this. Whatever it is, I hope we do not break up now. It would be a pity.
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The past week has been kind of good for me. Its like a feast of soccer matches, although I do not have cable, I have 2 malaysia/indonesia (im not sure RTM belongs to which country) channels that show some of the matches. Put that together with the occasional trips to the pub to watch, I havent missed much of the action so far.
For this holiday, time didnt really fly by for me. Rather, it felt as though I had just stood it one spot, watching it pass me by while not really doing anything conducive. I know, you might have been seeing the same kind of post for the past 3 junes, in 04, 05 and now, 06. I would have to start studying soon.
I have to constantly remind myself, time is running out. If i were to do anything, I would have to do it quick. If not, it would remain in memory as one of the genuinely happier times for me for the past 3 years.
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Its damn depressing, that no one ever tags my blog. Not that Im complaining, but it seems kind of redundant if there's a cbox but no one ever uses it.
June has brought back out my louder personality, but im not sure if school will make the loudness regress again, since its one of the main factors that caused it to make the progress down the other road in the first place.
I've been getting tired way too often. This period of convalescence has done me some good, but whether it will be enough remains to be seen.
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=)
